Just Thinking

The Springtime of Joy (Poem)

October 21, 2019 // Esther Filbrun 2 Comments

It was beautiful, down the valley,
Where the wild gorse grows,
Beautiful in the sunshine,
Where the river’s current flows.

Beautiful in the splendor
Of a clear springy day,
Beautiful as the willow brush
The fresh wind did play.

But deep within the beauty,
Where no eye has ever seen,
Lay the sorrow of a winter,
The drought before the spring.

For once upon a mountain,
The place wilderness only knows,
There lay a pall of darkness
Under winter’s heavy snows.

Cold winds did lash her,
Frigid temperatures in the dark,
And, stumbling, in the gloaming,
Her heart was torn apart.

But now spring has brought her
Out of winter into light,
And the place that once was barren
Now blooms from what was night.

Those who heard her sighing
In the darkness of the past
Are now singing and rejoicing
At the light that’s come at last.

So join with me in praising
If the darkness lingers yet,
For beyond the wings of sorrow
Lies a path to joys unmet.

Dedicated to those who have walked the valley of sorrow, whatever it may be. It’s only the beginning, for beyond the winter, there is the new hope of spring!

Able to Give So Much More

October 7, 2019 // Esther Filbrun Leave a Comment

Don’t you love it when some words just seem to speak out to you when you read them in the Bible? You can read the same passage many, many times—but then in that moment of inspiration, a “rhema” speaks to you, and you’re given something to ponder for the next little while. (By the way, I love IBLP’s description of what a rhema is. You can check that out here.)

This morning, it was 2 Chronicles 25:9 that spoke to me:

“And Amaziah said to the man of God, ‘But what shall we do about the hundred talents that I have given to the army of Israel?’ The man of God answered, ‘The LORD is able to give you much more than this.’” (ESV, emphasis mine)

This past week has had a lot of unanswered questions for me as I’ve been seeking God’s direction in my life. I’ve been looking for a new job, but nothing has happened yet in that direction, so while a lot of thought has been put into that, I haven’t seen results (partly because I ended up getting a touch of laryngitis early last week, and couldn’t call about jobs—thankfully that’s over now!).

Whatever I do, I want to serve the Lord. So with this morning’s rhema, I was quite encouraged. Whatever happens in this next week, no matter where I end up working (or not!), He is going before me. He is well able to give me much more than I can imagine, and that gives me an immense measure of hope for the future. I know I can rest in His plans for my life.

Whether that ends up being cleaning motels this summer, spending my time here at home with my family, or doing something further afield.

“The LORD is able to give you much more…”

I can just imagine the prophet standing there before the king, having just delivered his message, and hearing the king’s response. He sounds shocked, as he turns on the king with a disappointed tone, “but don’t you know…that the Lord can give you much more than this!? Who is He, anyway?”

I needed that rebuke to my faithlessness this morning. Perhaps you did, too. 🙂 Keep trusting in Him, dear friend!

What rhemas have you been given lately? What “much more” are you looking for from Him right now?

Changes Afoot

January 4, 2018 // Esther Filbrun Leave a Comment

What is your new year looking like so far? I’ve been reviewing 2017 today, and preparing to finalize my goals for 2018.

For me, this year is shaping up to be quite a bit different than my past three years, since we’re going to be moving. We have moved before in January, but never this distance! And the school term officially starts in early February, which makes things different again.

Changes 01

I’m excited about this new year. I’m excited to think about all the different things I’ll be learning along the way. But, if I were to be completely honest, I’m a little scared too.

I’ll be changing jobs. I’ve had the same job for over three years now, so it looks big to be going into something new—but it’s very exciting, too.

I’ll be working for a family, one that I feel like I’ve gotten to know fairly well over the past year. And I love the children. They are your typical adorable, sometimes annoying, lovable bunch, and I’m looking forward to getting to know them better, and helping them out with different things.

Changes 02

At this point, I’m still not really clear on what, exactly, I’ll be doing for them—very likely cleaning (which I enjoy doing! shocker, isn’t it?), as well as perhaps some meal help and things like that.

One thing that has really been making things interesting, though, is that their ninth baby is due soon. And since I’d like to be there over the time the baby is born, so I can get to know family routines before the baby comes, and then help out afterward for a while, I’m planning on moving 1 1/2 to 2 weeks earlier than the rest of my family. All going well, of course.

So right now, I’m thinking about everything I need to get done in the next threeish weeks before I move, trying to get the most important stuff completed first. I’ve got some sewing to do, a little sorting and some packing, and a few online bits and pieces to wrap up.

Changes 03

For now, while I ponder the move, my goals for 2018, and my new job, I’ve got the door open to the beautifully warm, overcast day outside. There’s a sewing project sitting on the ironing board, and papers scattered across my desk. Life is good!

“Blessed be the Lord: for he hath shewed me his marvellous kindness in a strong city. . . . Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the Lord.” —Psalm 31:21, 24

What are you working on right now? Do you have any big changes coming up in your near future?

Old Word, New Word: Hope and Rejoice

January 2, 2018 // Esther Filbrun Leave a Comment

Well, I wrote a blog post yesterday, and assumed it had saved (because WordPress always saves what you write, right?). No. Obviously it was too long or something.

How did your 2017 go? Mine went by in a flash, and I’m still trying to figure out what happened the last two months! In many ways, it felt like a rebuilding year for me—recovering from several difficult happenings, and going on to deeper depths with the Lord.

Near the beginning of last year, I wrote a blog post about my word for the year. “Hope” was—and still is!—something I had much to learn about, but that was the main thing I wanted to remember throughout 2017. There is hope. Whether I can see it or not, it’s there, and sometimes simply clinging to the promise of hope was all I could do in certain months.

But God was faithful through it all, just as He always is. I’m so thankful!

There are several key things I remember from my year of hope—of rebuilding.

The wonderful youth conference I attended in Dec. 2016. For the first time in months, I was able to reconnect with the Lord (I’m SO thankful for that!)—and, as a result, many of the things I learned then are things I’m still pondering and applying to my life.
In February and March 2017, I learned a lot about prayer, and how it works in real life. I’m so thankful for all the Lord taught me during that time! It gave me strength and sustenance in the following months.
A family trip to the States in June and July was so encouraging and wonderful. We were able to reconnect with old and new friends, and for me, it was a great time of encouragement and some healing from the previous year’s events, including my brother’s death.
What I had learned about prayer in February came into play quite a bit in August through October. I had several major things to work through in those months, and prayer was the main thing that sustained me through that time. One-year anniversaries of traumatic events are, quite simply, tough. But God sustains us through them, for which I am ever so thankful! This was probably the time when I saw my word “hope” come into play the most—because that was all I had to cling to. And hope in Christ was more than enough to bring me through. Because He IS enough.

“So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.” —Hebrews 13:6

Throughout the last half of the year, we knew we had to move out of the place we’re renting, but had no clue where we were going. Again, hope came into play, as the only thing we really had to pray then was, “okay, Lord, we know You’ve got somewhere for us to go to—please reveal it in Your time!” And it seems like He has (but that’s another story for another day!).

Over and over again throughout this past year, I saw specific ways where the Lord reminded me of my word for the year, giving it to me in moments where I’d normally be really struggling over uncertainties in my life. He was so good. If I sat down and listed each time, I’d probably fill books! 🙂

It wasn’t an easy year, in many ways. Often, I found myself struggling in the valley, wondering if I’d ever see beyond the tears and current storm—or if it would just last the rest of my life. But He has brought us through, and although I’m positive 2018 will probably have its own unique struggles in it, I am also confident that none of them will be any bigger than our God.

“And I will give her her vineyards from thence, and the valley of Achor for a door of hope: and she shall sing there, as in the days of her youth, and as in the day when she came up out of the land of Egypt.” —Hosea 2:15 (emphasis mine)

Despite the valleys I went through last year, and the ones that will probably come next year, I’m going to continue claiming hope over them. The Lord our helper is with us (see Hebrews 13:6 above).

Twenty-eighteen is already nearly two days old according to my calendar, and as I’ve been pondering what my word for this year should be, I keep coming back to a theme: Rejoice. Give thanks. Be joyful. Since I appreciate action words (it’s been good to tell myself to “hope in the Lord” this past year!), I’ve decided this will be my theme for the new year.

No matter what comes next year—and I’m sure there will be plenty of joyful moments as well as painful ones!—I want to remember to rejoice. Because God is good.

What is your word for the new year? Or, if you don’t do “words”, what’s one thing you’re hoping to remember as a guiding line for the coming year?

Hospitals and a Little Thing Called Thoughtfulness

August 31, 2017 // Esther Filbrun Leave a Comment

Hospital waiting rooms are notoriously tiring. And actually, that’s one statement I agree with—because I’ve experienced it! Three hours doesn’t hold a candle to the many, many other people’s experiences in such things. But as for me, while I did find it somewhat tiresome, I did have a book to read and interesting people to talk to, so that made the time pass faster.

For a lot of my time in there, there was another couple waiting as well whose fourteen-year-old son was in for a complex procedure. We got to talking a little, and I enjoyed the glimpse into their lives. Very sweet couple. At one stage, the husband decided he needed his morning coffee, so he made himself one with the service provided in our room (very nice of the hospital, in my opinion!). After downing his first cup, and another hour or so passing, he said something about maybe having another cup.

“Maybe I should join you,” I half-jokingly replied, “this instant stuff isn’t nearly as good as the real, but at least it’s caffeinated.”

Bouquet from Little Brother

He set to work making himself another one, and soon a steaming hot beverage came my way as well. I was surprised; strangers, even ones you’ve talked to some, don’t normally do things like that for you! And while, yes, that coffee was not nearly as good as what I’m used to, his act of kindness really blessed me while I waited. Which totally made up for it!

Last evening, I walked into my room, tired and ready to finish up for the night—and discovered a beautiful bouquet of flowers, a mixture of daffodils and plum blossoms, sitting on the table under my window! One of my youngest brothers gathered it for me as a surprise, found a container to put it in, and even found something to set under it so it wouldn’t mark the table. What a beautiful, cheery gift to give! In my opinion, that’s one of the best bouquets I’ve ever received—I know the heart behind it is pure gold. Or close to it, anyway.

All that to say that on two different occasions just recently, I was very blessed by little things people did for me. So next time you see an opportunity (and this goes for me as well!), do something for someone else. Be that blessing to them. You never know how even a little thoughtfulness might brighten someone’s day considerably!

What was one time you remember someone did something special for you, even if it was small?

The Mystery Object: Can You Help?

April 20, 2016 // Esther Filbrun 3 Comments

One evening this week, my ten year old brother was searching through my sixteen year old brother’s things, trying to find a lost wallet. I don’t know if he ended up finding the wallet or not, but he did discover something fascinating—an old metal thing, with the name “Nat” inscribed on the outside, and a tiny picture of a man on the inside. It is about 15 mm in diameter, so pretty tiny!

There is nothing on the outside edge that would have made it possible to put on a necklace (no little loops or anything), and it wasn’t made to snap onto clothing as a button—we tried that out, and it didn’t work.

I asked my brothers how they had found it, and the older brother said he had seen something shiny in the garden while he was cultivating, and picked it up. It was covered in dirt, so he soaked it in water and then cleaned it off. Afterward, he put it in with his other odds and ends, and forgot about it.

Then our younger brother was looking for his wallet, and found it—and seeing that it was made up of two different pieces, tried to open it! After prying it apart, this is what he found. In an attempt to find out who the man was, the boys popped his picture out to see if there were words underneath, but there were none—and in the process of putting it back in, some of the picture flaked off. They decided we ought to take a photograph of it before it gets any worse!

Have you seen anything like this before? Do you know what it could be? None of us can figure any more out than what has already been stated.

In other news, I’m working on writing a guest post for my cousin Kendra Stamy at A Proverbs 31 Wife. So far, the task has proven challenging, but I’m enjoying it. Lots of interesting thoughts coming out about books and why we read what we read. Praying that I’ll be able to encourage someone through this opportunity! I’ll share the link on here once the post is published.

Also, I’ve been working on memorizing Psalm 67 the last two weeks. So far, so good—almost through the chapter now. I did get a little stuck on verse four, but I think I’m getting it. Just need to remember that verses three and five are exactly the same, and get six and seven down pat yet. I’m getting there!

Memorising Psalm 67:4 — I decided to put the verse on my computer desktop until I get it memorized, so I won’t forget to practice it.

I also need to get this month’s newsletter written and sent. AFTER the guest post is written! I need to send out the last giveaway prize today—just heard back from the last winner this morning—and then that job will be done. 🙂 There are a couple other emails related to the giveaway that need replies yet, but they’ll be taken care of soon.

And along with all of that, I’m trying to ignore the insistent summons from a recent fascinating story, The Destiny of a Few by Sarah Holman, to finish reading it. Hey, I just got on Amazon to get a link for you, and I see that the Kindle version is currently free! Get it now if you can! I’m about halfway through the book, and thoroughly enjoying the adventure, even though I don’t completely agree with some of the views put forward in the book. If I can hold out until my work for today is done, then I can indulge in reading. I think.

Hope you’re having a great day, and if you have any ideas about what this mystery object is, my brothers and I would be glad to hear your thoughts.