Just Thinking

Changes Afoot

January 4, 2018 // Esther Filbrun Leave a Comment

What is your new year looking like so far? I’ve been reviewing 2017 today, and preparing to finalize my goals for 2018.

For me, this year is shaping up to be quite a bit different than my past three years, since we’re going to be moving. We have moved before in January, but never this distance! And the school term officially starts in early February, which makes things different again.

Changes 01

I’m excited about this new year. I’m excited to think about all the different things I’ll be learning along the way. But, if I were to be completely honest, I’m a little scared too.

I’ll be changing jobs. I’ve had the same job for over three years now, so it looks big to be going into something new—but it’s very exciting, too.

I’ll be working for a family, one that I feel like I’ve gotten to know fairly well over the past year. And I love the children. They are your typical adorable, sometimes annoying, lovable bunch, and I’m looking forward to getting to know them better, and helping them out with different things.

Changes 02

At this point, I’m still not really clear on what, exactly, I’ll be doing for them—very likely cleaning (which I enjoy doing! shocker, isn’t it?), as well as perhaps some meal help and things like that.

One thing that has really been making things interesting, though, is that their ninth baby is due soon. And since I’d like to be there over the time the baby is born, so I can get to know family routines before the baby comes, and then help out afterward for a while, I’m planning on moving 1 1/2 to 2 weeks earlier than the rest of my family. All going well, of course.

So right now, I’m thinking about everything I need to get done in the next threeish weeks before I move, trying to get the most important stuff completed first. I’ve got some sewing to do, a little sorting and some packing, and a few online bits and pieces to wrap up.

Changes 03

For now, while I ponder the move, my goals for 2018, and my new job, I’ve got the door open to the beautifully warm, overcast day outside. There’s a sewing project sitting on the ironing board, and papers scattered across my desk. Life is good!

“Blessed be the Lord: for he hath shewed me his marvellous kindness in a strong city. . . . Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the Lord.” —Psalm 31:21, 24

What are you working on right now? Do you have any big changes coming up in your near future?

Old Word, New Word: Hope and Rejoice

January 2, 2018 // Esther Filbrun Leave a Comment

Well, I wrote a blog post yesterday, and assumed it had saved (because WordPress always saves what you write, right?). No. Obviously it was too long or something.

How did your 2017 go? Mine went by in a flash, and I’m still trying to figure out what happened the last two months! In many ways, it felt like a rebuilding year for me—recovering from several difficult happenings, and going on to deeper depths with the Lord.

Near the beginning of last year, I wrote a blog post about my word for the year. “Hope” was—and still is!—something I had much to learn about, but that was the main thing I wanted to remember throughout 2017. There is hope. Whether I can see it or not, it’s there, and sometimes simply clinging to the promise of hope was all I could do in certain months.

But God was faithful through it all, just as He always is. I’m so thankful!

There are several key things I remember from my year of hope—of rebuilding.

The wonderful youth conference I attended in Dec. 2016. For the first time in months, I was able to reconnect with the Lord (I’m SO thankful for that!)—and, as a result, many of the things I learned then are things I’m still pondering and applying to my life.
In February and March 2017, I learned a lot about prayer, and how it works in real life. I’m so thankful for all the Lord taught me during that time! It gave me strength and sustenance in the following months.
A family trip to the States in June and July was so encouraging and wonderful. We were able to reconnect with old and new friends, and for me, it was a great time of encouragement and some healing from the previous year’s events, including my brother’s death.
What I had learned about prayer in February came into play quite a bit in August through October. I had several major things to work through in those months, and prayer was the main thing that sustained me through that time. One-year anniversaries of traumatic events are, quite simply, tough. But God sustains us through them, for which I am ever so thankful! This was probably the time when I saw my word “hope” come into play the most—because that was all I had to cling to. And hope in Christ was more than enough to bring me through. Because He IS enough.

“So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.” —Hebrews 13:6

Throughout the last half of the year, we knew we had to move out of the place we’re renting, but had no clue where we were going. Again, hope came into play, as the only thing we really had to pray then was, “okay, Lord, we know You’ve got somewhere for us to go to—please reveal it in Your time!” And it seems like He has (but that’s another story for another day!).

Over and over again throughout this past year, I saw specific ways where the Lord reminded me of my word for the year, giving it to me in moments where I’d normally be really struggling over uncertainties in my life. He was so good. If I sat down and listed each time, I’d probably fill books! 🙂

It wasn’t an easy year, in many ways. Often, I found myself struggling in the valley, wondering if I’d ever see beyond the tears and current storm—or if it would just last the rest of my life. But He has brought us through, and although I’m positive 2018 will probably have its own unique struggles in it, I am also confident that none of them will be any bigger than our God.

“And I will give her her vineyards from thence, and the valley of Achor for a door of hope: and she shall sing there, as in the days of her youth, and as in the day when she came up out of the land of Egypt.” —Hosea 2:15 (emphasis mine)

Despite the valleys I went through last year, and the ones that will probably come next year, I’m going to continue claiming hope over them. The Lord our helper is with us (see Hebrews 13:6 above).

Twenty-eighteen is already nearly two days old according to my calendar, and as I’ve been pondering what my word for this year should be, I keep coming back to a theme: Rejoice. Give thanks. Be joyful. Since I appreciate action words (it’s been good to tell myself to “hope in the Lord” this past year!), I’ve decided this will be my theme for the new year.

No matter what comes next year—and I’m sure there will be plenty of joyful moments as well as painful ones!—I want to remember to rejoice. Because God is good.

What is your word for the new year? Or, if you don’t do “words”, what’s one thing you’re hoping to remember as a guiding line for the coming year?

Hospitals and a Little Thing Called Thoughtfulness

August 31, 2017 // Esther Filbrun Leave a Comment

Hospital waiting rooms are notoriously tiring. And actually, that’s one statement I agree with—because I’ve experienced it! Three hours doesn’t hold a candle to the many, many other people’s experiences in such things. But as for me, while I did find it somewhat tiresome, I did have a book to read and interesting people to talk to, so that made the time pass faster.

For a lot of my time in there, there was another couple waiting as well whose fourteen-year-old son was in for a complex procedure. We got to talking a little, and I enjoyed the glimpse into their lives. Very sweet couple. At one stage, the husband decided he needed his morning coffee, so he made himself one with the service provided in our room (very nice of the hospital, in my opinion!). After downing his first cup, and another hour or so passing, he said something about maybe having another cup.

“Maybe I should join you,” I half-jokingly replied, “this instant stuff isn’t nearly as good as the real, but at least it’s caffeinated.”

Bouquet from Little Brother

He set to work making himself another one, and soon a steaming hot beverage came my way as well. I was surprised; strangers, even ones you’ve talked to some, don’t normally do things like that for you! And while, yes, that coffee was not nearly as good as what I’m used to, his act of kindness really blessed me while I waited. Which totally made up for it!

Last evening, I walked into my room, tired and ready to finish up for the night—and discovered a beautiful bouquet of flowers, a mixture of daffodils and plum blossoms, sitting on the table under my window! One of my youngest brothers gathered it for me as a surprise, found a container to put it in, and even found something to set under it so it wouldn’t mark the table. What a beautiful, cheery gift to give! In my opinion, that’s one of the best bouquets I’ve ever received—I know the heart behind it is pure gold. Or close to it, anyway.

All that to say that on two different occasions just recently, I was very blessed by little things people did for me. So next time you see an opportunity (and this goes for me as well!), do something for someone else. Be that blessing to them. You never know how even a little thoughtfulness might brighten someone’s day considerably!

What was one time you remember someone did something special for you, even if it was small?

The Mystery Object: Can You Help?

April 20, 2016 // Esther Filbrun 3 Comments

One evening this week, my ten year old brother was searching through my sixteen year old brother’s things, trying to find a lost wallet. I don’t know if he ended up finding the wallet or not, but he did discover something fascinating—an old metal thing, with the name “Nat” inscribed on the outside, and a tiny picture of a man on the inside. It is about 15 mm in diameter, so pretty tiny!

There is nothing on the outside edge that would have made it possible to put on a necklace (no little loops or anything), and it wasn’t made to snap onto clothing as a button—we tried that out, and it didn’t work.

I asked my brothers how they had found it, and the older brother said he had seen something shiny in the garden while he was cultivating, and picked it up. It was covered in dirt, so he soaked it in water and then cleaned it off. Afterward, he put it in with his other odds and ends, and forgot about it.

Then our younger brother was looking for his wallet, and found it—and seeing that it was made up of two different pieces, tried to open it! After prying it apart, this is what he found. In an attempt to find out who the man was, the boys popped his picture out to see if there were words underneath, but there were none—and in the process of putting it back in, some of the picture flaked off. They decided we ought to take a photograph of it before it gets any worse!

Have you seen anything like this before? Do you know what it could be? None of us can figure any more out than what has already been stated.

In other news, I’m working on writing a guest post for my cousin Kendra Stamy at A Proverbs 31 Wife. So far, the task has proven challenging, but I’m enjoying it. Lots of interesting thoughts coming out about books and why we read what we read. Praying that I’ll be able to encourage someone through this opportunity! I’ll share the link on here once the post is published.

Also, I’ve been working on memorizing Psalm 67 the last two weeks. So far, so good—almost through the chapter now. I did get a little stuck on verse four, but I think I’m getting it. Just need to remember that verses three and five are exactly the same, and get six and seven down pat yet. I’m getting there!

Memorising Psalm 67:4 — I decided to put the verse on my computer desktop until I get it memorized, so I won’t forget to practice it.

I also need to get this month’s newsletter written and sent. AFTER the guest post is written! I need to send out the last giveaway prize today—just heard back from the last winner this morning—and then that job will be done. 🙂 There are a couple other emails related to the giveaway that need replies yet, but they’ll be taken care of soon.

And along with all of that, I’m trying to ignore the insistent summons from a recent fascinating story, The Destiny of a Few by Sarah Holman, to finish reading it. Hey, I just got on Amazon to get a link for you, and I see that the Kindle version is currently free! Get it now if you can! I’m about halfway through the book, and thoroughly enjoying the adventure, even though I don’t completely agree with some of the views put forward in the book. If I can hold out until my work for today is done, then I can indulge in reading. I think.

Hope you’re having a great day, and if you have any ideas about what this mystery object is, my brothers and I would be glad to hear your thoughts.

The Rock Stands Forever

February 20, 2016 // Esther Filbrun 2 Comments

When I got home from work today, I found out that a friend of the family who had been planning to come spend the day with us tomorrow came today instead, and brought a friend along with him. It was great to meet her, and nice to catch up with him a little.

Ocean02 — The muddy color in the ocean to the top right is where a river (obviously very silty right now!) is joining the ocean.

After talking for a while this afternoon, most of the family went out to the local beach. We’ve had quite a bit of hot weather lately, so it was nice to relax and wade a little in the beautiful cool Pacific!

We were on the beach for 15 minutes or so, and then headed up the steep, winding hill to the lookout over the bay. This is a favorite spot for us; we’ve taken quite a few different visitors up there. It never seems to get old, though.

While we stood at the railing, enjoying the breeze, the sunshine, and the beauty around us, our new friend commented that these rocks have been there for a long, long time—even longer than she or I have been alive. Pondering that fact, looking at the intricately carved cliff face, reminded me of God.

“His Word lasts forever, too,” I commented as I studied the deep greens of the native bush in front of us.

We might come past and look at it, maybe even dig a little into it to figure out why it looks the way it does. Generations come and go, and yet His Word is always there. Unchanged, unmoved, solid as rock.

“Lots of little faces have come and stared at this rock, just like we are now,” my new friend mused. “Then they go away, but the rock stays there. And more little faces will come and look at it again.”

Through everything—storm, wind, hail, earthquake, beating sun—the rock stands.

Soon it was time to move on. My cousin, who was also with us, wanted to explore a track he had found there—that we had no idea was in the area, even though we’ve explored that particular beach many different times. It was a fun walk; we did a good portion of it in an hour and a half.

Ocean06 — A container ship we spotted from the lookout on the track.

On the way down, the boys all went at their own speeds, most getting to the beach and changed before we got back.

I stopped to “smell the roses” for a bit. Except I think I forgot to actually smell them in my attempt to get a good picture.

All in all, it’s been a gorgeous day! God’s creation is so beautiful . . . hearing the twitters and tweets of birds singing in the native bush, the crash and roll of the waves hitting the beach, the sucking knocking sound of rocks rolling in the receding wave, the indescribable blue blue of the ocean, the beautiful piney scent as we drove under pine trees, and so many other sights and sounds and flavors that I can’t even describe. God is good. God is so, so good.

And the really amazing part? Despite all this beautiful creation, that He can enjoy every single day of every single year, He chooses to love us—who scorn His very Gift all too often.

Challenge: What is one thing you can see from where you are right now that shows His beautiful loving care? That shouts that He is in control?

On Being Real

September 29, 2015 // Esther Filbrun 2 Comments

(Or, in other words, welcome to the sometimes-crazy-almost-random side of my brain.)

There’s this thing in the blogging world that crops up every once in a while. Although it goes by different names, it all boils down to one thing in the end . . . being real.

On Being Real

Every once in a while, people will post posts that talk about their failure to write because of fear—fear of censure, or fear that they aren’t cut out to do what they’re doing, or another of the one hundred and one reasons that, in the end, simply mean that they haven’t—or haven’t been willing to—“face up”.

To be quite honest, I really, really admire those people. Whenever they post a post like that, they’re opening themselves up to the whole world, saying “nope, I’m not perfect and yes, it’s okay if you turn your guns on me too.”

That takes courage.

But I have to wonder—even if they do dedicate themselves to being real, to sharing the hard, genuine, sometimes even harsh truths about themselves and their world, how long is it going to stay that way? What about all their previous writings—does that mean they weren’t presenting their true “selves” then, but instead were presenting the mask that they want others to see and know them by?

I can’t answer those questions.

I can say, however, that sharing the real stuff—who you really are underneath—is sometimes incredibly difficult. Okay, to tell you the truth—sometimes I wonder who I, myself, really am! Why did I decide to do it that way? What’s my hidden driving motive? Is it the true me that’s doing this, or my desire to please someone else?

I’m committed to sharing things the way they are; not the way I’d like them to be or the way I believe others would like to see them. I don’t always get there, but that’s my goal.

So what about you? Are you committed to being real too? How do you share the “real” side?