God's Goodness

Hope After Suicide

February 10, 2020 // Esther Filbrun 4 Comments

I saw a Facebook post today by an old friend who mentioned two family members who had taken their lives in as many months. He was appealing to people to reach out to others—to share their pain, so they could find help before going to such extremes.

And reading it, I saw the weight of grief behind each word. The longing that something could have changed before it was too late.

I know. I know what it’s like.

And I don’t know what to say, other than “Oh, Lord, please be with that family.”

I was listening to the Compelled podcast last week, and one of the stories (here’s part 1 and part 2) I heard was of a couple, Rob and Heidi Fuller, who were unable to have biological children and ended up adopting. They also had a miscarriage part way through their journey, which further brought them grief.

During that time, she wrote a song that has connected with me deeply even before I heard her story. This video is Rob and Heidi singing the song together.

We have to rest in the fact that He knows—even though we wish things could have turned out so very differently, He knows what’s best.

And for all of you who are struggling—reach out to someone, please. You are so loved, and so valued, even if you can’t see it. You’re one of God’s precious children. I pray that you’ll be able to find someone you can share with who will point you back to Jesus and give you His hope. Because He loves you far more than you could ever believe.

The Springtime of Joy (Poem)

October 21, 2019 // Esther Filbrun 2 Comments

It was beautiful, down the valley,
Where the wild gorse grows,
Beautiful in the sunshine,
Where the river’s current flows.

Beautiful in the splendor
Of a clear springy day,
Beautiful as the willow brush
The fresh wind did play.

But deep within the beauty,
Where no eye has ever seen,
Lay the sorrow of a winter,
The drought before the spring.

For once upon a mountain,
The place wilderness only knows,
There lay a pall of darkness
Under winter’s heavy snows.

Cold winds did lash her,
Frigid temperatures in the dark,
And, stumbling, in the gloaming,
Her heart was torn apart.

But now spring has brought her
Out of winter into light,
And the place that once was barren
Now blooms from what was night.

Those who heard her sighing
In the darkness of the past
Are now singing and rejoicing
At the light that’s come at last.

So join with me in praising
If the darkness lingers yet,
For beyond the wings of sorrow
Lies a path to joys unmet.

Dedicated to those who have walked the valley of sorrow, whatever it may be. It’s only the beginning, for beyond the winter, there is the new hope of spring!

Able to Give So Much More

October 7, 2019 // Esther Filbrun Leave a Comment

Don’t you love it when some words just seem to speak out to you when you read them in the Bible? You can read the same passage many, many times—but then in that moment of inspiration, a “rhema” speaks to you, and you’re given something to ponder for the next little while. (By the way, I love IBLP’s description of what a rhema is. You can check that out here.)

This morning, it was 2 Chronicles 25:9 that spoke to me:

“And Amaziah said to the man of God, ‘But what shall we do about the hundred talents that I have given to the army of Israel?’ The man of God answered, ‘The LORD is able to give you much more than this.’” (ESV, emphasis mine)

This past week has had a lot of unanswered questions for me as I’ve been seeking God’s direction in my life. I’ve been looking for a new job, but nothing has happened yet in that direction, so while a lot of thought has been put into that, I haven’t seen results (partly because I ended up getting a touch of laryngitis early last week, and couldn’t call about jobs—thankfully that’s over now!).

Whatever I do, I want to serve the Lord. So with this morning’s rhema, I was quite encouraged. Whatever happens in this next week, no matter where I end up working (or not!), He is going before me. He is well able to give me much more than I can imagine, and that gives me an immense measure of hope for the future. I know I can rest in His plans for my life.

Whether that ends up being cleaning motels this summer, spending my time here at home with my family, or doing something further afield.

“The LORD is able to give you much more…”

I can just imagine the prophet standing there before the king, having just delivered his message, and hearing the king’s response. He sounds shocked, as he turns on the king with a disappointed tone, “but don’t you know…that the Lord can give you much more than this!? Who is He, anyway?”

I needed that rebuke to my faithlessness this morning. Perhaps you did, too. 🙂 Keep trusting in Him, dear friend!

What rhemas have you been given lately? What “much more” are you looking for from Him right now?

Changes and Opportunities

September 16, 2019 // Esther Filbrun Leave a Comment

Yesterday, I got the news that due to changes where I work, I will only be working one day a week instead of the two I normally do. In effect, that means my hours are halved, which is rather major! I fully support my bosses and agree with their decision—sometimes, no matter how much we’d like things to work one way, they just can’t for a while. Eventually, perhaps, I’ll go back to working two days per week for them again, but only if they need it. Since I am a house helper, ideally the children will get old enough and competent enough eventually to be able to take over my job—so I’d be out of work then, anyway.

We’ll see!

For now, I’m thankful to still have something of a job.

I admit; I was a little disappointed when I got the news (who wouldn’t be?), but in thinking about it, I’ve realized this could be another opportunity for God to show me the next step to take. I’ve always prayed that the Lord would open the doors before me when the right time comes, and when that time comes He would show me what doors are open so I can walk through them. When one opportunity seemed to come to an end, He always has brought another along.

This opportunity for ministry with that family hasn’t fully come to an end yet, so I’m sure He still has work here for me to do. Wherever I am, I want to be able to bless others. To show them the Lord’s goodness, and perhaps be His “hands and feet” for them.

I’m sure that’s the longing of many young women—and if you’re one of them, I’d like to encourage you to keep trusting the Lord! He will bring the right next step to you in His timing. Yes, the in-between might be a little disconcerting, but trust His promises.

I always feel a sort of push-and-pull. I believe it’s necessary to find contentment where we are, but we also aren’t called to just sit and wait for something to drop into our laps. Finding a balance between the two is needed. I’m praying the Lord will show me what I should do with the extra time He’s given me—because He has a plan for that, too. Pray with me, if you think about it! And if you have something I can pray for you for, please comment below or send me an email: esther[at]learningresourcedirectory[dot]com. I’d love to hear from you!

No matter what you’re facing today, keep your eyes on Him. Watch for the open doors.

“For thou art my lamp, O LORD: and the LORD will lighten my darkness.” (II Samuel 22:29)

What challenges are you facing right now?

Tripping: The Nelson Post

July 25, 2019 // Esther Filbrun Leave a Comment

The past few weeks have been busy with multiple trips to different places. I’ve been able to catch up with quite a few different people from different places, which has been extra-special! Isn’t the Lord good to put different ones in our paths?

Two weekends ago, we took a family trip over to the east coast to visit friends at a little church there. It was an encouraging overnight trip; so good to see everyone, even if the visit felt far too short! I loved the view of the Southern Alps on our way back home!

Then, a couple days later, I took two brothers with me up to Nelson. Mom is due in about five weeks, and I wanted to be sure to have a good rocking chair here before the baby comes, hence the need to go and pick one up. I didn’t want to drive something like seven (plus) hours straight, so we arranged to spend the night with friends up there before coming back the next day. It’s been probably six months or so since we last caught up with those friends, so it was pretty special to do that! Other friends from Kaikoura were there as well at the same time, which made it extra-special!

Our friends are living at a Christian campground, so we had a quick tour the next morning before we left. Here is the main community building, with the dining room/lounge on the far left, the (beautifully large!) kitchen near the middle of the building, and a three-bedroom flat on the right wing for families or “camp mums” with their children. The white-roofed building off to the right is the beginning of a long row of cabins, and the fenced-in area holds a massive blow-up pillow for the children to play on!

We also got to explore the massive maze they have set up; I started going through it, but soon everyone else outstripped me, and I decided I would rather do without the mud and be ready to go when they all got out. I was assured that you couldn’t get lost in it!

I was also quite impressed by the long obstacle course that is set up! The apparatus was quite wet when we were there, but the children assured me it was quite fun. One girl said she had gone over it about 50 times! Most of the steps looked difficult enough to me, and for several I wasn’t quite sure what you were supposed to do there—maybe things are taken down over winter?

After exploring the campground, we headed up a short hill and got a look over the landscape. Back in January, I believe, there was a terrible fire that started up in these hills somewhere. It took quite a while for the firefighters to put it out, but the special part was that though the fire was very close, the camp didn’t burn!

This is the fire line. If you follow the valley to the left of the house, you would get to the Christian camp. I’d guess it’s a five-minute walk back to the camp from there, at most. Lots of people were praying for protection of the camp when the fire was going on; this camp has been going for years, and many people have been blessed by it!

According to the report we heard, a firefighter that was working there at the time saw the fire coming—and then it got up to this spot, and stopped. He said he’d never seen anything like it before! The pine plantation there should have burned, but it didn’t. The house in this picture was part of the camp at one point, but isn’t anymore—and it just escaped being burned. God is so good!

After looking at the fire damage, we headed around over the top of the hill, and got a good view of the valley leading up to Nelson. It was a beautiful day to be out sight-seeing!

Beautiful New Zealand! Nelson city is off on the left of this picture, under the hazier part, if I remember correctly.

In all, I thoroughly enjoyed our little trip up there, and loved that we could get a little nature walk in at the same time. Grandma, I wish you could have been there; the birdsong was quite different than we have here, and very pretty!

What places have you been exploring lately? What are you enjoying in God’s creation right now?

He Who Walks With Us

July 8, 2019 // Esther Filbrun Leave a Comment

This morning, I read the story of Jacob, his sons, daughter Dinah, and the men of Shechem. It’s not a nice story at all, but what blessed me out of that was the fact that though wrong was done by both parties, God still had a plan.

In this case, He ended up protecting Jacob’s family, and this circumstance also caused Jacob to turn to the Lord more—in the next chapter, we read that Jacob told his family, “let’s go to Bethel, so I can make an altar to the God who answers me when I am in trouble and has been with me wherever I’ve gone.” (Genesis 35:3, my paraphrase)

The Canaanites around them could have easily made war against Jacob for destroying a city, but they didn’t. A “terror from God” kept them quiet.

There is so much trouble around us these days—but here is the One we must turn to. Only the Lord can answer and help us in the day of trouble. Only He possesses the wisdom and help we need. Only He walks with us wherever we go.

Look to Jesus!