Thinking

Keep on Serving!

October 18, 2018 // Esther Filbrun Leave a Comment

Yesterday, my dad arrived home after a two-week trip to the States to see his sick mother. We were all so thankful he could go back to see her again, even though it cut into our family time and he had to leave his new job for two weeks.

Relationships with others—distant or close—always take time. And often, it takes time when you’ve got many other things to do, too, so it might not seem as easy to make time to pour into others.

What I’ve been trying to put in practice lately is making time for others even when it doesn’t suit my schedule. Yes, I may have to push some to-dos off for this week, but I can always come back to them next week.

I’m not saying this is an easy choice! And after the first few times of doing something out of the ordinary like this, my brain starts to complain that “you’re not getting enough done!”. But each time, I’m trying to remember the verse I read this morning in Matthew:

“Even as the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many.” —Matthew 20:28

Right now, I’ve got a friend who could use some encouragement. I could drop something and meet up with her for a coffee. Another friend could use help with homeschooling. Another could perhaps be feeling overwhelmed, and maybe a quick note on Messenger would be helpful to her today.

Whatever it is, recognising the ways I could be of service to others today—despite my perfectly-planned schedule or other obligations—these are the things that really count for eternity. Even if it isn’t fun. Even if it hurts.

No, I’m not good at serving. But with the Lord’s help, I’m praying I can become better at it.

Lord, please help me seize the moments and act on them!

Keep on serving others! What a beautiful way to spend our lives!

What is one way you could encourage or help someone else today, even if it just takes five minutes? Feel free to share your ideas in the comments below!

Winter Wondering

June 28, 2018 // Esther Filbrun Leave a Comment

The sun has just set behind the mountains. It’s going to be another cold one tonight. These days, we often wake up to hoar frost outside and wish we could cuddle under the covers for another couple hours until the bedroom grows a little warmer.

Now is the time of year when sunsets are dusty pinks—not a huge amount of color, but beautiful all the same. It’s the time of year when few birds flit around, but the ones that are still here are precious and welcome. They carry the promise that winter will not always be here—that just as cold has slowly settled onto the land, warmth will follow with a riot of color and mud come spring. This is the time when multiple hot drinks are the norm on chilly days, and soft, fuzzy blankets are a must. When reading in a cozy spot is an absolute delight. When candles burn brighter, and we let them go longer, because their soft, hazy glow is such a delight on chilly evenings.

As much as I used to hate winter, I’m learning to embrace it. Yes, it’s cold in the mornings—but when the sun breaks into the world, you feel like cheering. There’s a beautiful view of the mountains from the kitchen where I work, and I’ve grown to really appreciate seeing the sunrise reflecting in oranges and pinks on their peaks first, then fuller in paler yellows as the sun gets higher, before it finally touches the high board fence around the garden and the green fern trees within it and voila! another day has begun.

Winter has put me into a meditative mood.

I wonder about why it’s so hard for me sometimes to be thankful, to see the blessings around me, when it used to come naturally like a needle in a seamstress’s hand.

I wonder why I don’t blog very much, even though I still enjoy the idea and used to love sharing my musings on my own online platform.

I wonder why my sourdough bread is turning out with consistent results, and my yeast bread isn’t—with the same recipe, week after week.

I wonder what the gardens of our souls will be like in another ten or fifteen years. Are there things I’m not watering and feeding that I should be? Or things that I’m over-emphasizing right now?

I wonder what simple, childlike faith really looks like. When encrusted with do’s and don’ts and preoccupations and misconceptions, life can get muddly (is that a word? probably not…I’ll go with it anyway).

I wonder at the beauty and simplicity I see in bare tree branches with little buds prepared, just waiting for the whisper of warmth to breathe through their twigs and announce “life has come!”

And I wonder…when that same Voice whispers in my heart, do I listen?

So while I continue catching glimpses of sunrises and sunsets, and birds talking in the trees outside, I will wonder. I will live each day with hope of being able to serve my Savior more. I will keep seeking for beauty, reaching for stars. And maybe—in the looking, wondering, and trusting—I will find that though I may wish for parts of my life to be different, the life I’ve been given is already more enough. Even in winter.

Like Spurgeon so ably put it,

“Beloved, it is not the office, it is earnestness; it is not position, it is grace which will enable us to glorify God. […] [B]e not discontented with your calling. Whatever God has made your position, or your work, abide in that, unless you are quite sure that he calls you to something else. […] Fill your present sphere to his praise, and if He needs you in another He will show it you.” (From Morning & Evening by Charles Spurgeon, June 27 evening reading)

Let’s discuss: What are you pondering right now? What are you appreciating about your season right now?

“I Get To!” (Life Update)

March 15, 2018 // Esther Filbrun Leave a Comment

One thing that’s become clearer and clearer to me over this past week is the fact that I need to work on developing better daily and weekly rhythms. No longer am I working three-hour days; when I work, I’m doing nine-hour days! That makes a significant difference in the amount of time I have in a given week—not to mention the fact that after I get home from an 8-5 day, I don’t have a whole lot of extra energy left to do much else (yes, mothers, you are allowed to laugh).

My weeks are definitely going by a little faster than I was used to, but I’m loving it, too. 🙂 And I definitely don’t have any grounds to complain!

In the three days per week left to me to do things, I’ve been working at a myriad of jobs. Last night, I finally sat down and took five minutes to write out all the things that I really need or want to get done in the next month:

River Rocks

Finish my aunt and uncle’s wedding video (I got the files for this 2 1/2 years ago…it’s about time I finish it, methinks!)
Sand, stain, and varnish my new (old) wardrobe (this has been in progress since soon after we moved here—my sister and I need it for our room, and preferably the sooner the better!)
Catch up on book reviews (I’ve finished quite a few books lately…and am set to do more soon)
Get the category sorting function on my new website figured out (this has been waiting for several months now)

Most of these jobs are ones that will take several days apiece to do—and that’s not counting the ones I need to complete on a weekly basis (like bread making) or roughly once a month (like uploading new book reviews to the website).

But wow. I look at that list and think, “how many people out there have time to even think about jobs like this?”

Two or three weeks ago, I came across an interesting point about the Indians that lived in the Pacific Northwest: “Because food and wood [were] easy to gather, the Northwest Indians [had] much leisure time. Their lives [were] full of playacting, dancing, and singing.” (From A History of Us, Book 1 by Joy Hakim.)

I have to wonder, statistically speaking, how many people these days do not have time for things like this—or “relaxation” as we know it at all!—simply because it’s a daily fight for survival. It’s a struggle to even find a little food to feed their family.

None of those jobs listed above would be on my to-do list if I lived in a country where food was scarce. If anything, they would be a someday/maybe dream. That fact makes me feel very thankful. My food almost always appears, ready to eat (thank you, Mom!).

I live in plenty. So even if I struggle with a very first-world problem of figuring out prioritization and how to get the most out of my days, I know that I am blessed. Of course, there are the negative aspects of having too much plenty, but that’s a completely separate topic!

For now, I’m choosing to focus on the fact that I get to do these things, when for many people it’s an impossible dream. That it’s a privilege. Remembering that cuts down on the overwhelm factor quite a bit.

But, seriously—getting overwhelmed over something as trivial as what I should do with my days?

Okay. I’ll stop. But thanks for sparking the thought, Mr. History Book.

Let’s discuss: What are you working on right now? What are you thankful for today?

Micah and Mary

January 21, 2018 // Esther Filbrun Leave a Comment

Currently, I’m doing a reading plan that involves reading ten different chapters in ten different books of the Bible per day. For me, it’s a fairly flexible one—some days, I only end up reading one chapter, other days it’s just five, but I always aim for all ten. The way this particular plan is set up is that once you finish reading a certain “section” of the Bible, you just start it over—and that can cause some interesting mashups at times!

A few days ago, several chapters really stood out to me, and I thought I’d share my notes from them today, as I’m still thinking about them this morning.

Key texts: Mark 14:3–9, Judges 17–18

Mark 14: The gift Mary gave Jesus (“ointment on his feet”) was to be talked about wherever the gospel was preached, forever (see vs. 9).

In Judges 18, something else has happened that will also be spoken of for a very, very long time: Micah, an Ephraimite, “did that which was right in his own eyes” (see 17:6), and made himself both graven and molten images. He then created a priest in a weird mix-up of calling these images “the LORD”, thinking he was worshiping the God of Israel.

It was an evil combination of true and pagan worship, and it happened while the house of God was at Shiloh…he still had access to the truth, but he decided to do what he thought was right.

And by that one perversion in one man, one family, everyone in Dan (well, at least the ones who came to live in a nearby city) ended up being drawn away too. This lasted “all the time that the house of God was in Shiloh,” “…until the day of the captivity of the land.” (See vs. 30-31.)

Of course, we don’t really know which captivity this was (or at least, I haven’t taken time to study that part out!)—it may have been as far out as the Babylonian captivity, or perhaps a closer, smaller one. It’s hard to tell.

What we DO know is that this perversion, confusion, and sin, lasted a long, long time.

One sacrificed everything for her LORD.

One didn’t even bother to figure out or ask what his LORD required.

One did perfectly, and caused great blessing.

One did perversely, caused great confusion, and drew many away from the truth.

Which one am I?

Both may have considered their decisions inconsequential in the grand scheme of things. It’s easy for us, me, to fall into that trap, too. Thinking that our little actions don’t really matter.

But they do.

We may never see the long-term results. Mary probably didn’t, although Micah may have, at least to a certain extent. Both thought they were in the right. But what each one did affected many, many following generations.

How am I living my life?

Am I living it right in my eyes, after the pattern of Micah, or right in God’s estimation?

How are my actions now—however inconsequential, thoughtless, or otherwise—going to affect those around me…and the generations following me?

What a sobering thought!

As we start this next week, let us never forget that each action, each decision, does matter. Yes, God gives grace. But we’re still responsible to continue living for Him in everything we think and do.

“For ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the Lord: walk as children of light:” —Ephesians 5:8

“Take heed unto thyself, and unto the doctrine; continue in them: for in doing this thou shalt both save thyself, and them that hear thee.” —1 Timothy 4:16

“But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light; Which in time past were not a people, but are now the people of God: which had not obtained mercy, but now have obtained mercy.” —1 Peter 2:9-10

“But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.” —1 John 1:7

What have you been learning in your personal devotional time lately?

2018 Blogging Goals

January 9, 2018 // Esther Filbrun 2 Comments

As I was working on finalizing my goals last Sunday on the way home from church, I remembered a footnote that was added somewhere in the planning process: Blog Mon/Wed/Fri. While I am not planning on setting three blog posts as my goal every week this next year, it did reinforce a point to me as I was planning—I needed, wanted, to schedule in time every week to blog.

I’ve been writing online since I was twelve, and in the years since then, I’ve often discovered I love the process of composing my thoughts into something half-legible, and sharing it with the world. I’ve also loved following other bloggers who do the same thing, sharing their thoughts, opinions, and encouragements as the muse struck them.

This Year's Blogging Goals 01

Over the past two years, I’ve sort-of lost out on my desire to blog. But now, in 2018, I want to get back into that. My goal is to post at least one time a week, ending up with fifty-two posts by the end of year. My prayer is that I can encourage the body of Christ over this year.

As I’ve believed for years (and many, many other people have believed before me!), words have power. To some small degree, I feel like I’ve been entrusted that power. And I don’t want to waste it.

So this year, while my goal is to write more regularly (and I’m trying to set aside time on Thursdays to do that), I hope I’ll end up writing more. I hope, no matter how much or how little I do end up writing, it will be an encouragement to someone.

This year, I’m hoping to go back to one of the basics, in some ways. 1 Thess. 5:11 says we need to “edify one another”, or, in other words, “build each other up.” I feel like I don’t know how to do that very well. But I want to try again.

What are you planning to work on throughout this next year?

Old Word, New Word: Hope and Rejoice

January 2, 2018 // Esther Filbrun Leave a Comment

Well, I wrote a blog post yesterday, and assumed it had saved (because WordPress always saves what you write, right?). No. Obviously it was too long or something.

How did your 2017 go? Mine went by in a flash, and I’m still trying to figure out what happened the last two months! In many ways, it felt like a rebuilding year for me—recovering from several difficult happenings, and going on to deeper depths with the Lord.

Near the beginning of last year, I wrote a blog post about my word for the year. “Hope” was—and still is!—something I had much to learn about, but that was the main thing I wanted to remember throughout 2017. There is hope. Whether I can see it or not, it’s there, and sometimes simply clinging to the promise of hope was all I could do in certain months.

But God was faithful through it all, just as He always is. I’m so thankful!

There are several key things I remember from my year of hope—of rebuilding.

The wonderful youth conference I attended in Dec. 2016. For the first time in months, I was able to reconnect with the Lord (I’m SO thankful for that!)—and, as a result, many of the things I learned then are things I’m still pondering and applying to my life.
In February and March 2017, I learned a lot about prayer, and how it works in real life. I’m so thankful for all the Lord taught me during that time! It gave me strength and sustenance in the following months.
A family trip to the States in June and July was so encouraging and wonderful. We were able to reconnect with old and new friends, and for me, it was a great time of encouragement and some healing from the previous year’s events, including my brother’s death.
What I had learned about prayer in February came into play quite a bit in August through October. I had several major things to work through in those months, and prayer was the main thing that sustained me through that time. One-year anniversaries of traumatic events are, quite simply, tough. But God sustains us through them, for which I am ever so thankful! This was probably the time when I saw my word “hope” come into play the most—because that was all I had to cling to. And hope in Christ was more than enough to bring me through. Because He IS enough.

“So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.” —Hebrews 13:6

Throughout the last half of the year, we knew we had to move out of the place we’re renting, but had no clue where we were going. Again, hope came into play, as the only thing we really had to pray then was, “okay, Lord, we know You’ve got somewhere for us to go to—please reveal it in Your time!” And it seems like He has (but that’s another story for another day!).

Over and over again throughout this past year, I saw specific ways where the Lord reminded me of my word for the year, giving it to me in moments where I’d normally be really struggling over uncertainties in my life. He was so good. If I sat down and listed each time, I’d probably fill books! 🙂

It wasn’t an easy year, in many ways. Often, I found myself struggling in the valley, wondering if I’d ever see beyond the tears and current storm—or if it would just last the rest of my life. But He has brought us through, and although I’m positive 2018 will probably have its own unique struggles in it, I am also confident that none of them will be any bigger than our God.

“And I will give her her vineyards from thence, and the valley of Achor for a door of hope: and she shall sing there, as in the days of her youth, and as in the day when she came up out of the land of Egypt.” —Hosea 2:15 (emphasis mine)

Despite the valleys I went through last year, and the ones that will probably come next year, I’m going to continue claiming hope over them. The Lord our helper is with us (see Hebrews 13:6 above).

Twenty-eighteen is already nearly two days old according to my calendar, and as I’ve been pondering what my word for this year should be, I keep coming back to a theme: Rejoice. Give thanks. Be joyful. Since I appreciate action words (it’s been good to tell myself to “hope in the Lord” this past year!), I’ve decided this will be my theme for the new year.

No matter what comes next year—and I’m sure there will be plenty of joyful moments as well as painful ones!—I want to remember to rejoice. Because God is good.

What is your word for the new year? Or, if you don’t do “words”, what’s one thing you’re hoping to remember as a guiding line for the coming year?