Life

Hope After Suicide

February 10, 2020 // Esther Filbrun 4 Comments

I saw a Facebook post today by an old friend who mentioned two family members who had taken their lives in as many months. He was appealing to people to reach out to others—to share their pain, so they could find help before going to such extremes.

And reading it, I saw the weight of grief behind each word. The longing that something could have changed before it was too late.

I know. I know what it’s like.

And I don’t know what to say, other than “Oh, Lord, please be with that family.”

I was listening to the Compelled podcast last week, and one of the stories (here’s part 1 and part 2) I heard was of a couple, Rob and Heidi Fuller, who were unable to have biological children and ended up adopting. They also had a miscarriage part way through their journey, which further brought them grief.

During that time, she wrote a song that has connected with me deeply even before I heard her story. This video is Rob and Heidi singing the song together.

We have to rest in the fact that He knows—even though we wish things could have turned out so very differently, He knows what’s best.

And for all of you who are struggling—reach out to someone, please. You are so loved, and so valued, even if you can’t see it. You’re one of God’s precious children. I pray that you’ll be able to find someone you can share with who will point you back to Jesus and give you His hope. Because He loves you far more than you could ever believe.

Pororari River Walk – January 2020

February 4, 2020 // Esther Filbrun Leave a Comment

Two weeks ago, we had two sisters come to stay with us for a week. While they were here, they wanted to explore the West Coast, so we recommended a few places to them, and in the end, I went with them on their different day trips around. I’ve loved West Coast scenery ever since I first came over here, so it was a special treat for me to see so much of it again in such a short amount of time!

On Monday the week they were here, I went with them to the Pancake Rocks (a popular tourist destination around here—a lovely spot!). After going around the walk there, we explored a cavern in the area, took a short bush walk down to the beach, then headed back to the lovely Pororairi River, where there is a longer walk back through the bush along the river.

I’d never been on this particular walk before, so I really enjoyed it. The water was so green, as well as the vegetation—they get a lot more rain on that side of the mountains than we do. And we saw a shag!

Aside from the usual temperamental nature of New Zealand’s rivers, I think this would be a lovely river to take a kayak down. It was very peaceful the day we were there, with lovely clear water. There were a few fast-moving rapids, but aside from those, I think a trip would be quite enjoyable!

Even just walking alongside the river was enjoyable, though–the deep greens were spectacular!

And then, after walking for about an hour, we came to a crossroads and decided the swinging bridge we had been told about must be quite a distance on yet. Since it was getting late and we were tired, we decided to head back—but a Canadian couple who were coming along just then reinforced our faith in our guide’s words. Sure enough, another five minutes or so along the trail, we got to the swing bridge!

In all, it was a lovely walk, and if we have visitors come at some stage, I’d recommend it. It’s a great way to get out into the bush of NZ and still see some spectacular sights along the way. We even saw—and smelled!—some wild goats on the trail!

The day after we did this, we took a trip down to our local glaciers. But I have quite a few pictures from that, so it may take a bit to narrow down which ones to share!

Have you done any walking lately? What are some of your favorite spots in your area?

Videos from the Interislander

January 13, 2020 // Esther Filbrun Leave a Comment

I had some videos I wanted to share with last week’s post about going to Hastings, especially the part of the trip spent on the ferry. I didn’t get them stitched together in time, though, so you get to see them today.

I took the videos with the intention of just showing them to my brothers, but then I thought others might be interested too. So here you go—the highlights from the ferry part of the trip! It was a fascinating ride for me, and I’m so thankful I don’t get seasick. The Marlborough Sounds are beautiful. If you’re needing to get from the South Island to the North, I highly recommend this mode of transport! Unless you want to get there quickly…in which case, take an airplane, and forego the scenery.

But in my opinion, the ferry is the best.

(See the pictures from the trip here.)

Hastings, North Island Trip 2019

January 9, 2020 // Esther Filbrun Leave a Comment

I finally got around to getting these pictures sorted out this morning! Back in the middle of November, smack-dab in the middle of NaNoWriMo, when I was more than half distracted with trying to get those 1,667+ words done each day, my brother, Simon, and I decided on the spur of the moment to take a 15- or 16-hour trip up to the North Island to help some friends move down to our area.

8 am on the West Coast highway—a beautiful time of day to be out driving!

We decided to go on a Thursday evening, after arriving home late from a trip across to Christchurch (which in itself was a 3-hour drive home!), booked our ferry tickets that night, and took off about 8 am on Saturday. It’s a good 4 hours up to Picton, where you meet the inter-island ferry, then you have to wait for a while until the ferry takes off, and once you do, it’s a 3-4 hour ride.

Boarding the Interislander in Picton around 1 pm

I was so thankful to be out of the vehicle, even if it did mean I was on a boat! I’m not one that necessarily enjoys traveling, but it was fascinating to explore the Kaitaki, the Interislander ferry we took from Picton, on the South Island, to Wellington, on the North Island.

Bluebridge ferry—the other ferry company going between the islands.

Once settled in on deck, Simon and I had fun exploring the top story (level 10), where we had a great view of Picton and the surrounding harbor! This boat had lots of outdoor seating (you can just see that on the right of the below picture) for fine days—unfortunately, it was far too rainy to want to be out there long the day we went. The two big orange things in the middle of the picture are lifeboats, and in the distance on the middle left, you can see a white warehouse with “Edwin Fox” on it. If you are ever in Picton, I’d highly recommend you go there!

To our right, there was a little sailing club of some kind. All the white sails are people learning how to sail; it was fascinating to watch them learn to tack with the wind! They balanced the one-person boats by shifting their weight from one side to the other. Several almost capsized while we watched, then they quickly slid over to the other side and turned the sail to get them back on course.

Finally on our way! The Marlborough Sounds were absolutely beautiful, even if it was an overcast, rainy day.

A mussel farm:

There was also an outdoor viewing platform that ran almost all the way around deck 7, underneath the lifeboats on deck 8 (we saw the tops of them from deck 10). Simon and I spent a lot of time exploring around there, too, and it was nice to be sheltered a little from the weather while still having a clear view of the scenery.

There were LOTS of houses dotted among all the different islands and formations in the sounds! I was somewhat surprised at the number, but I think it would be lovely to have one of these secluded places as a summer holiday spot.

We saw quite a few salmon farms, too:

And more mussel farms . . . I didn’t count, but I know there were a good number of these, too!

Wellington harbor, at last! Once you disembark at Wellington, there’s approximately another 4-hour drive up to Hastings, where our friends lived.

Coming into the dock . . . Wellington was a bit sunnier than Picton had been!

Even though it was a bit early to eat, Simon and I got fish and chips in Upper Hutt, then wound our way up into the hills toward the Remutaka Pass, looking for a place to pull off to eat. We found a nice quiet place overlooking the Macaskill Lakes—what a lovely spot! Water from the Hutt River is pumped up into these lakes when the river water is clean, and then it is held here for use as Wellington’s water supply when needed. It was quite the view to enjoy after driving or riding the ferry all day, and we felt quite refreshed when we hit the road again by 5:30 or 6.

We finally arrived in Hastings about 11 pm. To say we were bushed feels like an understatement! Sunday, we got to rest, then Sunday afternoon and evening, we loaded up.

Then on the road again Monday morning by 7 am, and down to the ferry in Wellington by noon! It was raining fairly hard Monday, but from our place in line, we still enjoyed our view of the Kiarahi, the Interislander ferry that took us from Wellington to Picton.

Just a tiny portion of Wellington, our nation’s capital, here:

Pulling up the ropes and casting off—farewell, Wellington! I wasn’t so sad to be leaving. I much prefer our quieter roads here on the South Island!

The second sailing was slightly rougher at first than our sailing Saturday. But about half-way across Cook Strait, the waves smoothed out—I was thankful for that! Can you see the two white specks in the middle of this picture, just above the water on the hillside? Those were the guiding markers to help us enter the Marlborough Sounds.

The markers closer up, once we were in the sounds:

We met several ferries coming out of the sounds as we were winding through them. I think this one was the Kaitaki, which we took on our Saturday sailing.

And Picton harbor again—with the sun out this time! I was excited to be back on the South Island again. Only four hours to home from here!

In all, it was a great trip. Although I didn’t take any pictures up in Hastings, I loved being back up there again and worshiping with the congregation on Sunday. I spent three weeks there a year and a half ago, so that area has a special piece of my heart. I’m not sure I’d recommend taking such a rushed trip up there and back again, though. 😉

What was the last big trip you took?

Able to Give So Much More

October 7, 2019 // Esther Filbrun Leave a Comment

Don’t you love it when some words just seem to speak out to you when you read them in the Bible? You can read the same passage many, many times—but then in that moment of inspiration, a “rhema” speaks to you, and you’re given something to ponder for the next little while. (By the way, I love IBLP’s description of what a rhema is. You can check that out here.)

This morning, it was 2 Chronicles 25:9 that spoke to me:

“And Amaziah said to the man of God, ‘But what shall we do about the hundred talents that I have given to the army of Israel?’ The man of God answered, ‘The LORD is able to give you much more than this.’” (ESV, emphasis mine)

This past week has had a lot of unanswered questions for me as I’ve been seeking God’s direction in my life. I’ve been looking for a new job, but nothing has happened yet in that direction, so while a lot of thought has been put into that, I haven’t seen results (partly because I ended up getting a touch of laryngitis early last week, and couldn’t call about jobs—thankfully that’s over now!).

Whatever I do, I want to serve the Lord. So with this morning’s rhema, I was quite encouraged. Whatever happens in this next week, no matter where I end up working (or not!), He is going before me. He is well able to give me much more than I can imagine, and that gives me an immense measure of hope for the future. I know I can rest in His plans for my life.

Whether that ends up being cleaning motels this summer, spending my time here at home with my family, or doing something further afield.

“The LORD is able to give you much more…”

I can just imagine the prophet standing there before the king, having just delivered his message, and hearing the king’s response. He sounds shocked, as he turns on the king with a disappointed tone, “but don’t you know…that the Lord can give you much more than this!? Who is He, anyway?”

I needed that rebuke to my faithlessness this morning. Perhaps you did, too. 🙂 Keep trusting in Him, dear friend!

What rhemas have you been given lately? What “much more” are you looking for from Him right now?

Changes and Opportunities

September 16, 2019 // Esther Filbrun Leave a Comment

Yesterday, I got the news that due to changes where I work, I will only be working one day a week instead of the two I normally do. In effect, that means my hours are halved, which is rather major! I fully support my bosses and agree with their decision—sometimes, no matter how much we’d like things to work one way, they just can’t for a while. Eventually, perhaps, I’ll go back to working two days per week for them again, but only if they need it. Since I am a house helper, ideally the children will get old enough and competent enough eventually to be able to take over my job—so I’d be out of work then, anyway.

We’ll see!

For now, I’m thankful to still have something of a job.

I admit; I was a little disappointed when I got the news (who wouldn’t be?), but in thinking about it, I’ve realized this could be another opportunity for God to show me the next step to take. I’ve always prayed that the Lord would open the doors before me when the right time comes, and when that time comes He would show me what doors are open so I can walk through them. When one opportunity seemed to come to an end, He always has brought another along.

This opportunity for ministry with that family hasn’t fully come to an end yet, so I’m sure He still has work here for me to do. Wherever I am, I want to be able to bless others. To show them the Lord’s goodness, and perhaps be His “hands and feet” for them.

I’m sure that’s the longing of many young women—and if you’re one of them, I’d like to encourage you to keep trusting the Lord! He will bring the right next step to you in His timing. Yes, the in-between might be a little disconcerting, but trust His promises.

I always feel a sort of push-and-pull. I believe it’s necessary to find contentment where we are, but we also aren’t called to just sit and wait for something to drop into our laps. Finding a balance between the two is needed. I’m praying the Lord will show me what I should do with the extra time He’s given me—because He has a plan for that, too. Pray with me, if you think about it! And if you have something I can pray for you for, please comment below or send me an email: esther[at]learningresourcedirectory[dot]com. I’d love to hear from you!

No matter what you’re facing today, keep your eyes on Him. Watch for the open doors.

“For thou art my lamp, O LORD: and the LORD will lighten my darkness.” (II Samuel 22:29)

What challenges are you facing right now?